Last Sunday, I shared a story with a fashion major student about how I was accepted into Fashion Institute of Technology in Manhattan, NY my senior year of high school. I was all set to go and my parents gave me the “adult” task of calling admissions for their fax number to send over the final paperwork.
The admissions receptionist who spoke with me was rude and unhelpful. I remember hanging up the phone in tears then crying to my parents that I didn’t want to go to New York City. I didn’t think I could cut it. I was naive and young and probably correct. Most likely city life would have tore me to shreds.
I’m always a little embarrassed to tell that story as I explain how I ended up at an all-girls Catholic college in New York on the outskirts of the city instead of the cool, prestigious fashion school in the heart of Manhattan. I feel like I missed out on major bragging rights. In prayer, I’ve asked God why in the world my life went down that path.
But something struck me today. 18 years ago today…actually, right around this time… I got a phone call from my friend urging me to turn on the TV. I wasn’t in Manhattan. I was at that all-girls Catholic college in Tarrytown, NY on 9/11/2001.
From the tower of our dorm, I watched the smoke rise out of the city across the Hudson River– not in the heart of Manhattan. The sound of students wailing over family members echoed the halls. But I only experienced that for a day. One day of hysteria that I merely witnessed instead of personally experienced. We went into the city that weekend and it was a ghost town. Quiet. Too scared to move like a child after waking from a nightmare.
If I had gone to FIT in Manhattan, I would have been right in the middle of the nightmare. Instead I felt the numbness of trauma and the aftermath from afar.
I fall to my knees thanking and praising the Lord for protecting me from that. All these 18 years, regret has plagued my ego for not going to that cool fashion school in Manhattan and taking the safe route. My ego blinded the truth of God’s enormous protection over my life.
Why today? Why did He give me this revelation now–18 years later? Maybe because I was finally ready to see the blessing instead of what I thought was a stupid decision.
Man, God knows way more than I do.
I was a naive, scared, sheltered 18-year-old girl running away from the reality of life. It turned out to be a mentally and physically life-saving move by the Creator of the Universe.
I am coming to realize as the scales of selfish childhood ideation fall from my eyes (geez, it only took 36 years) I’m not the main character in the story. It’s not all about me and the decisions I am make. I’m just one star, one stroke of the brush*, in a Van Gogh.
I want these God-given revelations to change me, to grow me, to strengthen my faith in the masterpiece of His work. I want to be intentional with my life.
I don’t know what shape The Artist has in His creative mind but I know that it is good because God is always good. There is more to my story than I realize. I know that I will be astounded to see how the stroke of the brush that is my life creates a brilliant finished picture.
I will trust the creative process. I want to be intentional with my life, exuding God’s love through my actions and words because that’s what we were designed to do. I call you to do the same.
Rise Up, Church. You are a part of something bigger than you.
Live intentionally.
The artist sees what others only catch a glimpse of. -Leonardo da Vinci
*Every stroke of the brush is purposeful, valuable and intentional to the artist. God has a purpose for every single one of our lives. We are a valuable part of His masterpiece and He desires for us to realize the beauty of the big picture.
“The Lord is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works.” Psalms 145:17 ESV
“For we are His workmanship [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus [reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used] for good works, which God prepared [for us] beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us].” EPHESIANS 2:10 AMP
“But now, O LORD, You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our potter; And all we are the work of Your hand.” Isaiah 64:8 NKJV